If you've ever watched an episode of "Madmen", that was the "look" of our family. We were standard Americans. We served in the military, we had values, we paid our taxes, we were good neighbors, my dad coached little league, all the adults smoked, we didn't go to church.
We lived in a cul de sac and the only two girls my age were from religious families. So I hung out with them and went to church and summer camp with them. I remember they always had to go home in the early evenings for family worship. Whenever they would eat at our house, they bowed their heads and silently prayed. They did their homework and practiced their piano without being told. I silently thought we were heathens. Until I got to high school and started to realize that my family was "normal" and started to see that the religious families were not perfect either.
I was invited to some of their family worship time. It was quiet, peaceful and calming. Everyone listened to the father. So when I wanted to do our family/prayer time I thought that we would be magically transformed into these quiet, introspective people. Well, I found out that we are still exactly who we are.
I put an idea of what I wanted our prayer time to look like instead of being open to letting it unfold into "our" very own family worship time. We are still figuring out what that looks like. Some nights it goes very well. We are quiet and grounded and listen and feel and everything falls into place and other nights the kids are bouncing off the walls. I get myself a little caught up in this personal drama. When things go well, I feel proud. When things don't go so well, I feel like I've failed. Then, like a good nurse, I re-evaluate and make a new plan. Either way it is a great time for us to honor our family and each other, through the silence and the chaos. It is a great way for me to look at my own shadow. My hope is that we all learn more about ourselves and derive strength and security from our family time.
Last night we started out family time in our room reading Richard Scarry's Books. They love looking for Goldbug. Whoever found Goldbug got tickled. It was a very happy time until it was time to settle down and get to sleep. I suggest tickling games for the morning. The kids were having a hard time transitioning to quiet and prayer time. So then I started loudly asking for help from our angels to help settle and calm our bodies and our minds and settle me so that I stay grounded to help ground the kids. Kids were still wiggling all over the place so then I started asking for an actual sign that the angels are listening to me and helping us, a sign that our angels are with us (because I was started to lose a little faith). As I'm losing faith, I'm having a personal conversation with myself to continue to have faith, to know everything is in divine order. But really I'm expecting instant results because sometimes instant results happen. Then my little son gets quiet and calm and says to me, "Mom, I want to give you a little kiss".
I accepted his sweet little kiss and then he turned back into a wiggly worm. I lied down and knew that I was to accept this and not try to make it something else. When they fell asleep I turned to my angel cards for some guidance. I pulled the "Creative Writing" card. To express myself in a journal or by writing. Thank you angels for your beautiful, blessed signs. I'm humbled everyday. Many kisses back to you.
"Madmen" and a Kiss from Angels